Mama said there’d be days like this…

Ok, so it wasn’t my mom who said it, but it made for a good title, amiright?

Writing a blog post has been on my to-do list for about 2 years now, but life. So here’s an update if you don’t follow me on Facebook or Instagram…

In December 2017, my amazing, hard-working, so-perfect-it’s-annoying husband was offered a promotion that took us from Geneva, Switzerland to Peoria, IL in March. That’s a big change, I don’t care who you are. But Jason and I are both from the Peoria area, so while leaving Europe and the expat life we’d grown accustomed to was really hard, the promise of family close by and lifelong friends softened the blow.

I’m going to go ahead and answer the question we’ve gotten a hundred times: “How long do you think you’ll be in Peoria?” We have no idea. We could be here forever…well until Jason retires and we immediately flee to Orange County. We could be here for 18 months. If there’s one thing I’ve learned throughout Jason’s insanely successful career, it’s to expect the unexpected. So for now we will enjoy being here with so many people we love. We will put down roots and not think about what’s next…until it comes.

Living here is so easy. If you have spent any length of time living in Europe, you may know that inconvenience becomes a lifestyle. Sometimes it’s a blissfully slow-paced inconvenience, and sometimes it’s an I’d-rather-poke-my-eye-with-a-pencil-than-try-to-find-a-store-that-sells-that-crazy-shaped-lightbulb inconvenience.

Here I know things. I know I can find all. the. things. at Walmart. I know I will never run out of toilet paper because…Costco. I know my kids’ teachers understand what I’m saying. I know my mom and mother-in-law (not to mention sisters and sister-in-law) are a phone call and 15 minutes away.

But there are hard things, too. And I was warned about such hard things before we moved. Hard things like kids having trouble breaking into groups that have been together since diapers, general American busyness that we’re not used to, homework. For the love…the homework.

But very personally, today the hard thing is that I feel like our three years in Geneva- the travel, the beauty, the experience- are a distant memory that fades a little each day. And that is heartbreaking.

Let’s face it, it’s difficult to talk about traveling to 30 countries in 3 years without sounding prideful. It’s difficult to talk about a panoramic view of Lake Geneva with the snow-capped Jura behind it without sounding discontent. It’s difficult to talk about much of our experience without sounding like a boastful snob. Because, for as low as the lows were in Geneva (and there were many, especially in the first year), the highs were amazingly high. So what do I do? I don’t talk about it. And it fades a little more.

In Psalm 139 David writes, “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed is Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you… in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” (v. 5-12, 16 ESV)

So before you send out evites to my pity-party, let me assure you that I am good. I am more than good. First of all, being here with family and friends is seriously priceless. And God the Father has hemmed me into this place. There is nowhere I have been and there is nowhere I will go without His knowledge and presence. John 14:18 says, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  He is always with me, and His right hand is holding me.  He shines His light into my dark places and assures me that just as He was in Geneva, He is here. He is in me, and I in Him. And maybe the memories fade, and maybe I have sad days, and maybe a thousand other things… But I have real joy and real peace and real hope for the future because I am His.

This is not my home…but I like it.

xo, Elly